Brothely Phan NO SEX! dammit
by fullmetal hanyo
Summary: yea...no sex...it's just...pointless...read it if you want too, dear...if not...well then catch ya on the flip side! rated T for my words...and ramblings...


**Since I feel so weird making Dan and Phil do the "No pants dance" I'm making a little brotherly one-shot...yea...don't kill me. And don't you lie, I know you were considering it! Arse, anywhores...pls, even though I take hating really well, don't do it. Now, most crazy "Phan-girls" will be after me, because I'm not making them...yeah...so NO SEXY TIMES! dammit, pervs.**

**ONWARD!**

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Phil was...bored...The life of a YouTuber was supposed to be fun, full of excitement...but he felt...monochrome. Nothing interesting was happening, nothing worth mentioning was going on...it was dull. Dan was off at Tesco buying food, so he was left alone. Several times he had considered making a new video, but he was lazy. The camera was in the livingroom, so like hell was he going to get up and walk back. Too much work. The sound of rustling plastic and a door slamming resonated throughout the flat. Dan was back, Phil literally rolled off his bed and picked himself up and walked to the kitchen.

One irritated Dan Howell was glaring at the bags and turned to Phil, who was staring at his little-yet more mature-brother figure with an eyebrow raised. "You're glaring at the bag because...?" He questioned, Dan still fumed and turned to the blue-eyed man-dude-child _**(sorry if you're reading this Phil & Dan, I think of you both as elder brothers but, hot damn, you guys are so childish~ it's funny!)**_ "I hate humanity! Everybody on the freakin' tube were twats! Twats, Phil, waffly twats!" Dan was...pissed, his face was flushed, he looked about ready to punch someone. Phil snorted and tried to keep an amused smile down. "And just why are they 'Waffly Twats' Dan?" He asked as he grabbed a bag to put away, cereal, milk, and kraft. "Oh, Oohoho! You want to know why? Because, I just met with an orange human-girl who would not stop her flirting, a toddler who thought it was alright to put his gum on my pants, and an elderly lady who thought I was going to murder her! Phil stop laughing! Dammit!" Dan threw his arms in the air in frustration.

" 'm so-_hahaha_-sorry, D-dan..._hahaha_.." Dan walked over to his flatmate-brother-bestfriend and slapped the back of his head, Phil stopped laughing and settled for chuckles as he nursed his aching head _**(yay! for having a perverted twin sister who pointed that out!...I'm ashamed of her...) **_"Tell me about your 'hate filled trip, while I put away the food." Phil gather several bags and moved them into the kitchen, "Fine." Dan spat, "When I had gone underground a tourist was walking around, poor sod didn't know what to do! Literally everybody tutted him! It's like we've forgotten patience or something!" As Dan continued to rant about random people and a number of girls who tried to flirt with him, Dan being Dan-read: socially awkward-brushed them off and moved on, wild subscribers that would appear and lifted his moods, only for them to be crushed by arrogant men.

Phil would occasionally nod and put his opinion on the people, many rude and arrogant people. Since he had long since put the groceries away and was now making tea, to calm Dan the hell down. "I swear to god, humanity gets on my tits sometimes." Dan sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. Phil chuckled and placed a mug of tea in front of the angered 23 year old. _**(I guessed, I didn't want to feel like a creeper, so I guesstimated.)** _who drank the tea without complaint. "Well, no one really aims to please anymore. Patience is now a rarity and human compassion has fallen...I can't exactly say I'm happy for the way things turned out for the world. I know that your 'Danosaurs' and my 'Phil-lions' are **_(dudes...on a completely unrelated note...I just hit 666 words with 'are'...I know, I'm satanic...No, I'm a good catholic child...I think...anywhores, your probably pissed at me for interrupting your "Phan-fiction..go back...leave me...)_ **the coolest, and we're the 'One Direction' of YouTube and BBC1...wait...I lost my point...forget it." Dan shook his head at his friend's-read: elder brother with less maturity than him-antics and sighed, his tea was somewhat cold plus he was hungry.

Phil had already gone on Tumblr and assumed the position on the couch, Dan sighed and got of his chair. Howell looked over to his flatmate and just stared, how long had it been since they meet? How long had it been since they had considered each other brothers in YouTube? What would they be doing without the other? "..an? Dan?" A voice called, snapping Dan out of his...thoughts. "Huh?" an unintelligent reply was his answer, "You were staring..." Phil said suspiciously, his eyes narrowed in question. "Meh, just thinking about things...sorry that probably freaked you out." Phil shrugged and closed his laptop, "Alright, since your thinking and it probably hurt you-" "HEY!" "-tell me about it."

"About what?" Dan muttered before turning on the television, dammit...British baking shows..."Your thoughts...what you were thinking about before I caught you staring." Phil place his MacBook on the coffee table and turned his body to Dan, who stared at the show blankly. "Well, I was thinking about this, everything...us...oh god that sounded weird...like where would we be if it wasn't for YouTube, if we hadn't meet...that stuff..." Dan said as he drew his knees up to his chest and hugged them. _**(Sex on the beach! Guys! I'm probs pissing you off but I like counting my words on this shit and I'm on 1,023! I don't know why I'm telling you this! :D See ya~) **_Phil nodded and ran his fingers through is messy black hair, "Yeah, but hey. We met each other, right? Were alive, if we survived the 'Apocalypse' we sure as heck can survive life. Right? Now, stop thinking and get over here-" Phil pulled his MacBook back on his lap and logged in, a picture of Kristen Stewart...SMILING! "-and help me freak out about this...blob of no emotion that has pulled a smile out of nowhere." Dan laughed and sat closer to Phil. Promptly flipped out of his mind.

Dan was happy with this. A life of being a single pringle, a bestfriend/brother, a nice YouTube career, a nice happy life...even with waffly twat like people in the real world, he was proud of his individuality. Awkwardness, and no social life whatsoever. Happy nonetheless. _**(how in Levi Ackerman's name is 'nonetheless' and 'whatsoever' words? wth?)** _Phil was silently glaring at Kristen, an unpleasant look plastered on his face. Dan snorted, "Okay...it's the end of the world...Dan, it was nice knowing you...but, Kristen has smiled...we're going to die..." Phil stated, his blue eyes wide with uncertainty and fear. "Shush now...she's just smiling...okay, we might die...but we lived happily!" Dan reassured, not looking all that reassured himself. Phil stared for a moment and busted out laughing, Dan followed.

A life of a YouTuber...it should be filled with fun and excitement...I guess...between being socially inept and having cringe attacks, you could share moments like this with friends/brothers/flat mates/ect. and be happy.

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**Somewhere in there it got dodgy and the ending sucked...I blame twin sisters...yep, blame that...OH! Since I don't creep, I don't know if Dan or Phil have siblings...so this came out of the dark, perverted, anime, fandom, band, YouTube filled place that is my mind! Yay~**

**Around the Kristen Stewart part 9101 by Phoenix started to play so...if you don't know what Phoenix is...why are you here? Google it dammit. I CAN'T GET OVER THAT SUCKY ENDING! GOD! IT'S LIKE I COMMITTED HOMICIDE AND GENOCIDE!  
t(-_-)t  
I hate myself...so much...welp, here...have fun... **


End file.
